monday song

new song lyrics from a friend on stumbleupon;


Wander (12/04/2008) © 2008 Don Rudnickas

1)
I’m not the soul you thought I was
Cause I’ve got edges that need some rounding down
I’m not a puppet just because
I mimic voices and act just like a clown
How many times I thought I’ve been there
With a whisper and a quick prayer

Chorus:
Wander, though your life may seem all set
Start upon a journey that you never will forget
Wander, Take a little time
To walk upon the pathways that will weave about your mind
Wander… Wander ….

2)
I’m not the guy who’s always nice
Cause I’ve been known to cause a tear or two
But sometimes peace comes with a price
You make your bargains even though you have no clue
Always looking for the quick fix
Never seeing it was all tricks

3)
What do you see there in my eyes
Is it a portrait of what you want in life
How do you know it’s not all lies
That wait in hiding to cut you like a knife
Are you certain it’s the real prize
That brings happiness and blue skies

4)
I’m just a sympathetic fool
Who goes on dreams that never seem to end
Looking for that lost crown jewel
Never realizing that it’s just my friends
Always wishing for the real thing
Tired of waiting for what fate brings.

quite powerful and thought provoking;
thanks, don

attitude list

today am I;

honest,
humble,
helpful,

grateful,
reasonable,
contented,

anxious,
angry,
arrogant,

envious,
empathetic,
easy-going,

fearful,
friendly,
fulfilled,

patient,
tolerant,
accepting,

serene,
sullen,
sarcastic,

dependable,
depressed,
dutiful,

timid,
prompt,
bored,

available,
willing,
wishful,

positive,
relaxed,
reflective.

i have choices today;
i can make it a good day.

joys of winter?

it is so much easier to cool off than warm up.
now lacking the 35 extra pounds and constant
supply of anti-freeze(alcohol), i used to have,
it can be difficult to shake a chill once it starts.

everything changes with the coming of winter;
the trees are bare,
grass doesn't grow,
no colorful flowers,
and less sunlight

attitudes change, people get grumpy,
the weather becomes a constant
topic of discussion.

even when it rains, people panic
at the possibility of a freeze.
then there's the snow;
nice on the ground...hell on the roads.

january 10 can't come soon enough!

on to arizona and pools, hot tubs
and daily sunshine.

i hate winter.

wednesday quotes

Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.
- F. Scott Fitzgerald

The most important questions in life can never be answered by anyone
except oneself.
- John Fowles

If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
- Anatole France

Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.
- Viktor Frankl

Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to error that counts.
- Nikki Giovanni

It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.
- Robert H. Goddard

You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips.
- Goldsmith

Winners have simply formed the habit of doing things losers don't like to do.
- Albert Gray

In my day, we didn't have self-esteem, we had self-respect, and no more of it than we had earned.
- Jane Haddam

Vision is not enough, it must be combined with venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps, we must step up the stairs.
- Vaclav Havel

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.
- Hermann Hesse

If what you did yesterday seems big, you haven't done anything today.
- Lou Holtz

Rule your mind or it will rule you.
- Horace Smith

Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due.
- William Ralph Inge

on turning 57

how did i ever get this old?

already 8 years retired,
my dad is 85 and still dancing,
my son turned 26 on my 5 year sober date,
my favorite aunt still asks if i'm in AAA;
i have to laugh and say, "that's a car club!"

never imagined i would be living in
the country, being a city boy all my life.

after 33 years of working, the last 15
bouncing in and out of recovery, i
lose my part-time job after 5 years
of sobriety; ironic!

a drink can still look attractive at times;
but i have no desire to start this process
all over again.

i find myself urging those who can drink,
to be wary of their amount and frequency;
and always have a designated driver.

honest scrap

thanks to kathy lynne for passing this to me.

Here's the rules:
List 10 honest things about myself
Pass the award on to 7 bloggers
10 random honest things about ME and it is all about ME:

1.) despite all horrible things i said and did while drinking,
it still looks enticing to me, 5+ years later.

2.) i have difficulty making friends

3.) my life is better than it ever was, yet i feel unfulfilled

4.) i want to further my education, but lack self-confidence

5.) it is kind of weird being a grown-up, after feeling
like a kid my whole life.

6.) i wish i could trust people more.

7.) financial irresponsibility annoys me.

8.) it disappoints me that more folks can't recover.

9.) i often find myself asking what life is all about.

10.) it has become better to give than to receive.

7 bloggers i chose;...ok 8

tabitha---beneaththebasementstairs

indigo----screamquietly

mysuestories

Fishstyx

cleanandcrazy

heather-methlabsandrednecks

redballon-lessismore

j-online

anger and resentments

two emotions described as dangerous to us.
unfortunately they are a part of all humans.

while they can't always be avoided,
these naturally occurring events
can be managed.

how we deal with the dynamic duo is
directly related to our state of mind.
when drinking, patience and tolerance
levels are usually low.

we were either tired, queasy or grumpy.

along with the physical discomfort, was
the impatience, confrontational attitude,
and paranoia.

sober time allows us to become more
reasonable and rational.
we begin to think before we speak;
no longer is it, "ready, shoot, aim"!

the little things that used to drive us
crazy, are recognized as just that.

it's ok today to get angry;
but it does not have to involve
shouting or avoiding.

benefits of recovery

one of the primary responsibilities of life
is health maintenance.
while we all have various degrees of
well being, continued recovery will
benefit anyone.

it allows lowered blood pressure,
and reduced triglycerides,
less stomach acid and upset,
and eliminates empty calories.

energy levels rise,
sleep becomes deeper,
and focus sharpens.

mentally, we experience improved
decision making,
increased memory,
renewed optimism,
better self-image,
and added awareness.

so when someone raises a glass
to toast to your health,
just remind them;

that you've toasted so many
times to others health,
you nearly ruined your own.

on course

we are all subject to life's inevitable unfair moments.
many an alky has posed the question, "why me?"
there seems to be an impression among folks
in recovery, that all will be well just because
we stopped using.

well, despite our optimistic outlook, life still
goes on; complete with anger, disappointment,
loss, sadness and breakups.

while we are never spared the realities of life,
our ways of dealing with them are more
constructive in recovery.

no longer do we need to escape, numb or
ignore life's lemons; today we can accept,
adapt and confront with a rational head and
a clear conscience.

relapse research

from about.com:alcoholism;


There is evidence that approximately 90 percent of alcoholics are likely to experience at least one relapse over the 4-year period following treatment (1). Despite some promising leads, no controlled studies definitively have shown any single or combined intervention that prevents relapse in a fairly predictable manner. Thus, relapse as a central issue of alcoholism treatment warrants further study.

Modern science, both biological and behavioral, has explored a number of different leads in the quest to prevent relapse. These range from pharmacological agents, such as the serotonin uptake blockers and disulfiram, to behavior constructs, such as cue extinction and skills training. Although these are promising leads that one day may improve significantly the chances of alcohol dependent persons to continue long-term sobriety, there are no definitive answers yet to this troubling aspect of alcoholism treatment.

Although we are not yet at the point where we can state definitively what works best in preventing relapse, I firmly believe that we are on the brink of a new period in alcoholism treatment research that ultimately will help us to develop this knowledge. For the present, therapists should examine critically the evidence for new nonpharmacological approaches before initiating them.

Similarly, good clinical wisdom should discourage the use of unproven pharmacological agents to prevent alcoholism relapse until the efficacy of using such agents in this regard is proven.some sobering research about the statistics and solutions concerning relapse


i see firsthand the difficulties of maintaining sobriety.
despite the best efforts of many folks, the call of the buzz or
high can be irresistible at times. whether it's escape from pain
or desire for euphoria, the urge is rarely ever completely removed.
addiction is a complex issue, resistant to any single method of
treatment. i urge anyone in recovery to address all the
areas of their life; prayer, meetings and sponsors are
helpful, but alone, they will not keep most from using.
our mental, physical, and emotional health are
crucial in confronting the issues that cause us to drink.