carpe diem

"seize the day"

it took me a long time to
comprehend and feel comfortable
with the idea of a day at a time.

initially it made me insecure and
unsure of the future.

gradually, i began to realize the
importance of the concept.

letting go of past mistakes and
harm done by others was the first
step in gaining understanding.

today i don't have to relive the past;
but i do need to recall where i was,
and how i felt in the throes of
active addiction.

it is refreshing to know that i can
plan for the future, acknowledge the
past, and enjoy each day, good or
bad, secure in the mindset that
there is nothing that a drink or
drug will do for me today.

tuesday thoughts

"God may give you seeds but he won't plant them for you."

"It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy."
--George Horace Lorimer

It takes both sunshine and rain to make a rainbow.

You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.

To ask is a moments shame, not to ask, and remain ignorant, is a lifelong shame.

Sometimes, its what you dont do, that makes you who you are.
Words are powerful things. They can make someone feel ten feet tall, or two inches small. Choose your words wisely and well.

If it is not right, do not do it; if it is not true, do not say it.
--Marcus Aurelius

Anyone can enjoy good days; those who find ways to enjoy bad days have something going for them!

Never look down on anybody unless you are helping them up.

If you are too busy to laugh, you are too busy.

To make mistakes is human; to stumble is commonplace; to be able to laugh at yourself is maturity.

Alcohol is a good preservative for everything but brains.

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.

Don't go through life, grow through life.-Eric Butterworth

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength. - Corrie TenBoom

summer preview

along with this sudden preview of summer,
comes the temptation for some of us
to reminisce about the beer at the
ball park or the poolside cocktail.

i shared at fridays "living sober" meeting
how i still have thoughts of a drink
nearly 6 years in.

we went to a barbecue saturday where
most of the guests were drinking .
it was an opportunity for me to observe
the various stages of inebriation.

i have to admit some slight envy of
those who drink socially: but it was
actually fun & easy to interact with
people i just met, who were jovial and
engaging

it was so refreshing to have a really
good time without having to get a
buzz to do it

friday questions

how do you feel about your
progress so far?

what is the greatest gift you've
received from recovery?

when did you first feel secure
and comfortable in sobriety?

where do you go to get
away from it all, and just reflect?

who inspires you when the path
gets difficult to maintain?

why do you think 12 step programs
work well for some, and not at all
for others?

balance

a key element in anyone's recovery
is the ability to obtain and maintain
balance in their lives.

as creatures of habit we tend to
immerse ourselves in a particular
aspect of our lives.

whether it's work, exercise, or
even the computer, over doing
any single activity can hamper
our progress.

i see folks come into our sober
house and try to quickly clean
up their financial messes by
working lots of overtime or
2 jobs.

this prevents them from attending
as many meetings as they should;
doesn't allow for a social life,
and tends to overwhelm them.

i urge them to strike a balance
between work, meetings, socializing
and leaving time to just relax.

a fast pace is not usually healthy,
especially in early recovery.

my advice is to rediscover what
makes them happy. take time to
walk, read, play an instrument,
or anything that added contentment
to their lives.

it's so much more than just
"don't drink & go to meetings"

making amends

wall torn down
fences to be mended

recalling the past
and all those offended

a list to be made
and most to confront;
no easy way
except to be blunt

no telling what the outcome will be
an attempt to say sorry
and allow me to be free

this i must do
no matter how hard
just be sincere
and let down my guard

the AA paradox

according to the traditions we should
maintain anonymity in areas of press,
radio etc.

while i fully understand the reasons
for non-promotion of AA, the irony
is the general public has little or no
conception about 12 step recovery.

there are those who view AA as a
cult or a religious organization.
while attraction is a noble method
getting others to seek recovery, it
falls short of reaching many who
need help.

therein lies the paradox;
in order to maintain the tradition,
the message may not reach the many
who remain skeptical about the
program of AA.

inspired by Shadow

why am i here,
what is the reason?

when will the answers come?

is it because of fate, actions
or just where i'm from

am i a product of nature or nurture?
it seems so futile to wonder

deep down i know it doesn't matter
yet still want to want to know which
spell i'm under

my past is prologue
and can't be changed

my future uncertain
and impossible to be arranged

if i can stay in the day
and handle what comes along

i'll realize my purpose
and try to stay strong

friday questions--a day late

what is your favorite season and
is there one that tests your sobriety?

do you find that family, friends or
co-workers treat you differently
since getting into recovery?

how often, if ever, do you think
of a drink or drug?

are you comfortable sharing everything
with your sponsor, or are there issues
you would rather discuss with a therapist
or clergy?

what is the aspect of drinking, if any,
do you miss the most?

have you found that happiness described
in the promises or do you find it's a choice
rather than a result of sobriety?

PTA--revisited

remembering the PTA
no, not the parent-teachers association.

patience
tolerance
acceptance

whenever i feel i should be further along
in my recovery, i have to consider how
far i walked into the forest of addiction.
the distance out is the same;
hopefully the time frame will be quicker.

tolerance allows me slow down and think
before i speak. in addition i can be less
judgmental and try to see things from
the other person's perspective.

acceptance is actually the final stage
of the grieving process.
when i decided to give up my drinking
lifestyle, i went through all the stages
just as if i had lost a loved one.

denial
anger
bargaining
depression
acceptance

today i accept who and what i am,
and play the cards of life that i was dealt.

home again

flew back to connecticut on monday...
cold and raining; what a surprise!

spent the weekend at the new house in phoenix.

we have the basics installed; stove, washer,
dryer, cable TV w/internet.

still waiting for the fridge, so it's was
using coolers with ice...kind of like
indoor camping!

nice to be back to family, friends and
my dog china.

special thanks to deb & roger for
keeping prospect house safe, clean and
comfortable for our residents.

fun for friday