Wednesday, December 31, 2008

bye bye '08

2008, what a year it was.

the good;

recovery progress,
most in sober house remained clean,
reunited with my son,
stayed in contact with dad & godmother.
long stay in arizona

the bad;

lost job,
nurse friend failed to repay loan,
saying final goodbye to joan,
the sudden passing of a young friend,
having to evict residents.

the ugly;

facing the stark reality of relapse,
snow, ice, and mud,
attitudes of certain neighbors

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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

what we don't see on the labels

WARNING: Consumption of this product may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: Consumption of this product may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your butt kicked.

WARNING: Consumption of this product may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (which species or name you can’t remember).

WARNING: Consumption of this product may create the illusion that you are tougher and faster than some really, really big guy named Bubba.

WARNING: Consumption of this product may lead you to think that people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: Consumption of this product may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

WARNING: Consumption of this product may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

there are many we could add to the list

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Sunday, December 28, 2008

the rat race

kind of a good reminder of the constant
changes life has to offer.

there are so many unexpected curve
balls thrown at us; but that is ok, and
what this journey is all about.

i don't view life as a contest to be
won or lost; but rather a challenge
to do a respectable job of being
responsible, accountable, reliable
and available.

the best "race" analogy that works
for me is, "slow and steady wins the race"

actually it's not about winning at all;
it is about putting forth the effort, and
accepting the outcome, secure in the
knowledge that we tried.

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Saturday, December 27, 2008

2 out of 3

well here we are, two thirds of the way
through the holiday trilogy of terror.

Actually Christmas is the most stressful;
even without dealing with temptation,
the added stresses of entertaining, gift exchanging
And family interaction, can be overwhelming.

Next on the agenda, New Year's Eve,
is probably the easiest for me.

I have always viewed New Year's as
the ultimate amateur night.
That's when folks who don't know
how to drink, give it their best shot.

January 31 will be a good night to stay home.

There will be no ice or snow to worry about;
no police to deal with,
and definitely no interaction with any drunks.

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Thursday, December 25, 2008


wishing all a healthy, safe and happy holiday!

please remember and pray for our troops and
all emergency services workers on duty today.

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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

porcelain God

one of the images i recall;
along with the empty promises!

it amazes me that no matter how
sick and seemingly committed to
quitting, we easily forget the
ultimate consequences.

in a few days, the memory fades.

the pledge to quit becomes a promise
to moderate.
and so it goes, as does our veracity
and trust level with others.

instead of empty promises,
it's about action;
staying clean,
remaining honest, responsible,
available and accountable

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Sunday, December 21, 2008

jingle bells revisited

jingle Bell's jingle bells
jingle all the Way

oh what fun it is to be
sober on the holiday

Dashing through the snow
without the fear of cops

o'er the roads we go
past the DUI stops

bells on churches ring
no hangovers to fight

what fun it is to live
And sing a sober song tonight

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Thursday, December 18, 2008

holiday humor

a friend sent these, and i couldn't resist sharing...

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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

it's beginning to look a lot like christmas...

yes, it must be that time of year;
deb takes so much pride in spreading
the christmas message and making it
a special time for everyone...

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Monday, December 15, 2008

monday song

new song lyrics from a friend on stumbleupon;

Wander (12/04/2008) © 2008 Don Rudnickas

I’m not the soul you thought I was
Cause I’ve got edges that need some rounding down
I’m not a puppet just because
I mimic voices and act just like a clown
How many times I thought I’ve been there
With a whisper and a quick prayer

Wander, though your life may seem all set
Start upon a journey that you never will forget
Wander, Take a little time
To walk upon the pathways that will weave about your mind
Wander… Wander ….

I’m not the guy who’s always nice
Cause I’ve been known to cause a tear or two
But sometimes peace comes with a price
You make your bargains even though you have no clue
Always looking for the quick fix
Never seeing it was all tricks

What do you see there in my eyes
Is it a portrait of what you want in life
How do you know it’s not all lies
That wait in hiding to cut you like a knife
Are you certain it’s the real prize
That brings happiness and blue skies

I’m just a sympathetic fool
Who goes on dreams that never seem to end
Looking for that lost crown jewel
Never realizing that it’s just my friends
Always wishing for the real thing
Tired of waiting for what fate brings.

quite powerful and thought provoking;
thanks, don

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Sunday, December 14, 2008

attitude list

today am I;












i have choices today;
i can make it a good day.

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Friday, December 12, 2008

joys of winter?

it is so much easier to cool off than warm up.
now lacking the 35 extra pounds and constant
supply of anti-freeze(alcohol), i used to have,
it can be difficult to shake a chill once it starts.

everything changes with the coming of winter;
the trees are bare,
grass doesn't grow,
no colorful flowers,
and less sunlight

attitudes change, people get grumpy,
the weather becomes a constant
topic of discussion.

even when it rains, people panic
at the possibility of a freeze.
then there's the snow;
nice on the ground...hell on the roads.

january 10 can't come soon enough!

on to arizona and pools, hot tubs
and daily sunshine.

i hate winter.

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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

wednesday quotes

Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.
- F. Scott Fitzgerald

The most important questions in life can never be answered by anyone
except oneself.
- John Fowles

If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
- Anatole France

Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.
- Viktor Frankl

Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to error that counts.
- Nikki Giovanni

It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.
- Robert H. Goddard

You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips.
- Goldsmith

Winners have simply formed the habit of doing things losers don't like to do.
- Albert Gray

In my day, we didn't have self-esteem, we had self-respect, and no more of it than we had earned.
- Jane Haddam
Vision is not enough, it must be combined with venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps, we must step up the stairs.
- Vaclav Havel

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.
- Hermann Hesse

If what you did yesterday seems big, you haven't done anything today.
- Lou Holtz

Rule your mind or it will rule you.
- Horace Smith

Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due.
- William Ralph Inge

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Tuesday, December 9, 2008

on turning 57

how did i ever get this old?

already 8 years retired,
my dad is 85 and still dancing,
my son turned 26 on my 5 year sober date,
my favorite aunt still asks if i'm in AAA;
i have to laugh and say, "that's a car club!"

never imagined i would be living in
the country, being a city boy all my life.

after 33 years of working, the last 15
bouncing in and out of recovery, i
lose my part-time job after 5 years
of sobriety; ironic!

a drink can still look attractive at times;
but i have no desire to start this process
all over again.

i find myself urging those who can drink,
to be wary of their amount and frequency;
and always have a designated driver.

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Sunday, December 7, 2008

honest scrap

thanks to kathy lynne for passing this to me.

Here's the rules:
List 10 honest things about myself
Pass the award on to 7 bloggers
10 random honest things about ME and it is all about ME:

1.) despite all horrible things i said and did while drinking,
it still looks enticing to me, 5+ years later.

2.) i have difficulty making friends

3.) my life is better than it ever was, yet i feel unfulfilled

4.) i want to further my education, but lack self-confidence

5.) it is kind of weird being a grown-up, after feeling
like a kid my whole life.

6.) i wish i could trust people more.

7.) financial irresponsibility annoys me.

8.) it disappoints me that more folks can't recover.

9.) i often find myself asking what life is all about.

10.) it has become better to give than to receive.

7 bloggers i chose;...ok 8







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Friday, December 5, 2008

anger and resentments

two emotions described as dangerous to us.
unfortunately they are a part of all humans.

while they can't always be avoided,
these naturally occurring events
can be managed.

how we deal with the dynamic duo is
directly related to our state of mind.
when drinking, patience and tolerance
levels are usually low.

we were either tired, queasy or grumpy.

along with the physical discomfort, was
the impatience, confrontational attitude,
and paranoia.

sober time allows us to become more
reasonable and rational.
we begin to think before we speak;
no longer is it, "ready, shoot, aim"!

the little things that used to drive us
crazy, are recognized as just that.

it's ok today to get angry;
but it does not have to involve
shouting or avoiding.

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