Thursday, September 10, 2009

addiction progression part 2

yesterday I posted about the stages
of progression and some of the variables

many times I feel at a disadvantage
to people who share at meetings
about the horrendous times they've
experienced while drinking.

stories of blackouts, car crashes, arrests,
fights and incarceration are common.

my belief is long term sobriety is easier
to maintain for those whose lives turned
upside down the moment they picked up.

since my progression so slow and
insidious, it was hard to recognize
and accept.

there were so many pleasurable times,
that i experienced over many years,
i always hoped i could recapture the magic.

today i think it through and remember
the final stages of compulsive drinking;
the loneliness, despair and futility.

i must recall that the absolute worst
things i've ever experienced involved
alcohol and drugs.

what used to turn me on...
turned on me.

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Gin said...

That's usually what happens. It turns on everyone eventually in one way or the other.

Shadow said...

i know exactly what you're saying. with me too, it was more private that public and still there are people who don't even know i don't drink and even why i would've wanted to stop... but be that as it may, i have to remember MY worst moments, otherwise it's all over in the blink of an eye...