Monday, March 16, 2009


life is all about choices;

what should I do?

where should I be?

who am I today?

where do I want to be?

what's it really all about?

all these things come up and confound me

maybe it's my age and stage of my life.

things are so good, yet i feel unfulfilled.

what more do i need?

this journey of life never ceases to confuse me

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Shadow said...

i'm off the beaten track today, i a world all on my own, without questions, without seeking answers, just being. and liking it...

Kathy Lynne said...

thing is although the choices can be confounding they are choices I never had while drinking.

Micky said...


Dear Jack,
Have you tried fishing? Not your common or gardening angling, but “reel fishing”! Not with worms or artificial flies, but with “real meat”, like the 12
or the BIG BOOK.

We used to do it every summer…well! It was your summer and our winter. You’ve probably gathered that I live in Australia.

We’d hire this boat, quite a big one it was, Ethel and the kids, Bill 44 and Bob…he’d be 37 by now. We’d do a picnic basket – lovely it was, our 5th STEP, sobriety dates, drinking stories, a couple of bottles of lemonade and
the 12 x 12.

And off we’d sail over the reef. The sun would beat down, often the sea would be as calmer than the 12th STEP and we’d just drift.

We’d put our lines over then and just wait – play AA TAPES, talk "crap," and ring our SPONSORS. Wonderful it was!

Mind you, Ethel, didn’t care for the bait, it was the smell you see and the sight of HOW IT WORKS cluttering up the deck. “Micky”, she’d say! “The AA PROGRAM is putting me off my dinner”!

Well, it didn’t bother me or the kids, it wasn’t like that, the, OXFORD GROUP had delivered it quite fresh but Ethel used to say that CHAPTER 5 “sneered” at her and made noises, offensive noises, when the gases escaped from its crap.

The kids loved that “Mum”! They’d say when it did it – “RARELY HAVE WE SEEN A ZOMBIE FAIL WHO HAS THOROUGHLY FOLLOWED OUR PATH”!

Well she didn’t like that, not Ethel, strict SATANIST,she was, thought it was very disrespectful. She would go into one of her sulks and it would last for “bloody hours”.
Mind you, she did get a bit more excited when BILL shared his story.

Well she had to with BILL "frothing at the mouth" and banging his fist against the side of the boat. And then there would be more....BOB got into the act, tearing chunks out of the 12 STEPS, "spitting everywhere," snapping at BILL.

But I don’t think she really approved, not Ethel. She said it was senseless 13th STEPPING. Well I suppose it was if you look at it that way! But there are lots of 12 STEP PROGRAMS aren’t, there, Johnny?

It went wrong when BIll did the 9th STEP! Huge it was, more like the 5th STEP, really. Again and again he raved on like a "psychopath," but he wouldn’t shut up. Clever “bugger”! He had learned you see.

Well I was determined that I was going to do a personal INVENTORY. I threw the BIG BOOK, all the picnic stuff in the water.

BILL went mad; I’d never seen him so upset. He tore the rod out of its restraints and hurled it in the water. I didn’t stop to think, that’s always been my problem, “being sober”BILL followed the rod!

Well! He was gone in “two bites” and I didn’t catch the PROGRAM. It seemed to know; it sort of “grinned” at me and then just made off. BOB wasn’t too pleased either…he’d missed his "higher power!"

Micky said...

Dear Johnny,
You obviously have a sense of humour - it's not all doom & gloom!

Micky :)

Micky said...

Jack said... What's it really all about? Things are so good, yet i feel unfulfilled.

Dear Johnny,
Romans 13: 10 The love of our neighbor worketh no evil. Love therefore is the fulfilling of the law.

Deuteronomy 6: 5 Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart, and with thy whole soul, and with thy whole strength.

Deuteronomy 13: 3 Thou shalt not hear the words of that prophet or dreamer: for the Lord your God trieth you, that it may appear whether you love him with all your heart, and with all your soul, or not.

Matthew 25: 34 Then shall the king say to them that shall be on his right hand: Come, ye blessed of my Father, possess you the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.

35 For I was hungry, and you gave me to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave me to drink; I was a stranger, and you took me in:

36 Naked, and you covered me: sick, and you visited me: I was in prison, and you came to me.

37 Then shall the just answer him, saying: Lord, when did we see thee hungry, and fed thee; thirsty, and gave thee drink?

38 And when did we see thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and covered thee?

39 Or when did we see thee sick or in prison, and came to thee?

40 And the king answering, shall say to them: Amen I say to you, as long as you did it to one of these my least brethren, you did it to me.

John 14: 15 If you love me, keep my commandments.

21 He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them; he it is that loveth me. And he that loveth me, shall be loved of my Father: and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.

23 Jesus answered, and said to him: If any one love me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him, and will make our abode with him.

28 You have heard that I said to you: I go away, and I come unto you. If you loved me, you would indeed be glad, because I go to the Father: for the Father is greater than I.