Tuesday, February 12, 2008

hate being an alcoholic?

does anyone else hate being an alcoholic or addict?

first off, is the stigma attached to the label.
with the exception of those in recovery, the
general public has no conception of what it
feels like to be in our shoes.

next is the constant scrutiny of when we are
going to screw up.
many of our past attempts and failures give
people good reason to be suspicious.

the thing i miss the most is the social aspect.
whether it was the beer at the ball park, or
choosing a wine for dinner, there was something
enticing about drinking for relaxation or just
lessening the inhibitions(shy folks know what i mean)

of course no one misses the final stages of compulsive
drinking; but for those who took a long time to get to
that stage, there are good memories to draw from.

so until someone invents a pill that allows me
to drink safely, i will keep those former days as just that; memories

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MICKY said...

Dearest Jack,
You are not an "alcoholic", but a former DRUNKARD (sinner). Can you imagine telling people that you are an ALCOHOLIC - they would think you were a ‘troll’?.

Most of the SOBER BLOGGERS are not "alcoholics" - most of them are not even out of "nappies'?

Relating what they did during the day - hanging out there "dirty laundry", doing the Steps (HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!)?

Are you really interested in how someone did his or her 5th Step or 13th Step, Jack? HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!.

Can you imagine meeting someone for the first time, Johnny, and telling that person, you are a SOBER ALCOHOLIC? He or she would would think, you just got released from a mental hospital? HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!.

Or, standing up in a meeting & saying, "Hi! My name is Johnny & I'm an ALCOHOLIC & I’ve been sober for 9 years 2 months 3 days & 6 hours. HA! HA! HA1 HA! HA! HA!

Bill Wilson was insane, Jack? I was insane until God (Jesus Christ) delivered me? You know AA is a load of crap? What are you frightened of, Johnny? Rejection!!


Shadow said...

ezlike they said in rehab... you dare not remember the good times, ONLY REMEMBER THE BAD TIMES. otherwise one will end up missing it, build up resentment, end up relapsing...

MICKY said...

Dearest Johnny,
The Alcoholics Anonymous program has borrowed from medicine, psychiatry, and religion. It has taken from these what it wanted and combined them into the program which it considers best suited to the alcoholic mind and which will best help the alcoholic to recover. The results have been very satisfactory.

We do not try to improve on the A.A. program. Its value has been proved by the success it has had in helping thousands of alcoholics to recover.

It has everything we alcoholics need to arrest our illness. Do I try to follow the A.A. program just as it is?

Borrowed from medicine huh? Yes it borrowed the delusional rambling of Bill Wilson’s ass doctor who made a wild guess that maybe he had an allergy.

Lets see the roots of psychiatry ...the fathers of psychiatry were occultists and humanists who decided that anyone who believed in a "higher power" were nuts.

Yes, AA is a religion all right, it’s called BUCHMANISM.

Alcoholic mind? Once again nothing scientific to back up such claims...more invented crap, courtesy of the BIG BOOK.

Yes its helped thousands.... That would be about it. Why don’t you mention the millions of lives AA has destroyed?

If you follow the program just as it is, you too can become a mental midget trapped in a CULT for the rest of your life.

Don’t forget to mention the fact that he (Bill Wilson) couldn’t overcome his own habits with his own program. He smoked until the day he died...from emphysema. He was also a sex addict who cheated on his wife habitually.


MICKY said...


AA acts on rising reports of attacks by volunteers
Gerard Seenan
Wednesday July 5, 2000

Vulnerable alcoholics seeking help for their addiction are being subjected to sexual and other abuse at the hands of long-serving volunteers from the world's largest alcohol support group.

An internal memorandum circulated to every Alcoholics Anonymous group in the country reveals that volunteer members are increasingly being investigated by police forces examining allegations of sexual abuse.

It is impossible to quantify the allegations since AA is committed to anonymity and will not be drawn on any aspect of its work. But the document makes it clear the group's general service board has known of the problem for some time and feels it must be tackled at a national level.

According to the memo, leaked to the Glasgow-based Herald newspaper, within AA "there is a small minority of men and women who operate with sick but hidden agendas, and, no matter what they may say, they seek self-gratification often at the expense of other members or potential members".

Public exposure of the memo is embarrassing to AA, but the document itself was being interpreted yesterday as an attempt by the group to confront the ills which have long dogged other voluntary organizations.

A senior alcohol addiction worker said: "It came as a bit of a shock to me and I have never picked up on these allegations before. AA [is] in a difficult position: we all put checks and balances in place, but it is very difficult to protect people entirely from abuse of position because the people involved are invariably clever."

It is understood the chair of AA's York-based general services board drafted the memo after being made aware of the rising number of police investigations.

It was issued as a consultation document to autonomous groups across the country and the board is hoping to find new ways of framing guidance to prevent further abuse.
Abusers within the organization are said to have exploited their positions as "sponsors", taking advantage of the vulnerable when they are at their lowest ebb.

Contact is usually made through telephone helplines and then continued in the home.
AA has guidelines governing who is eligible to become a sponsor or answer helplines and make home visits.

But the memo reveals these have been broken, with some taking on the role with neither the appropriate experience nor duration of sobriety. The document says: "There appears to be a growing number of cases around the country of police (and other agency involvement) in allegations of unlawful sexual conduct by AA members."

It warns that the organization has the "potential to become a breeding ground for predatory behaviour".
Although AA holds its creed of anonymity sacrosanct, there is admission of a general acknowledgment of abuse within AA, and that the organization will be unable to duck exposure of such abuse. The organization says it will not protect members from the law.

A spokeswoman for AA yesterday confirmed the leaked document was genuine, but refused to comment further.


MICKY said...


12-Step Horror Stories: True Tales of Misery, Betrayal, and Abuse in AA, NA and 12-Step Treatment, edited by Rebecca Fransway

Reviewed by Jackie J.

The Introduction, Foreword, and Preface contain a great deal of anti-AA editorial commentary. The basic points are that AA is bad for some (or most) people and that people who contradict the belief-systems of AAers are demonized. Pro-AA individuals who are easily offended might want to skip the introductory material. The horror stories themselves are fascinating reads and only a few had an entirely negative view of AA. Even avid 12-steppers should find something of value and little to resent in most of these stories.

Some stories are very detailed, chapter-length tales of 13-stepping and compulsory AA-attendance. Other stories are no more than a few paragraphs long. Each writer clearly has an independent and unique perspective on their AA experiences. Most names were changed to protect the innocent, although some writers insisted that their names be proudly displayed.

Each story-teller drew a unique conclusion from their experience. The differing opinions treated the subject with a basic fairness that was much more open-minded and even-handed than the title suggests. Every writer was clear that they were writing solely about their own experience and most insisted that they did not intend that the reader jump to conclusions about the organization as a whole.

Some contributers were primarily interested in reforming AA and fixing AA's internal problems by opening a healthy dialog within meetings, making newcomers aware of stalkers within the organization, and limiting the authority of old-timers (who may be more interested in protecting their friends and/or their egos than supporting the organization). They were motivated by a desire to create a better environment for those seeking recovery.

Some people protested the systematic sexism or racism they encountered in the organization. One mentioned the lack of tolerance for non-Judeo-Christian religious preferences. Male and female alcoholics are clearly held to different standards of behavior in many AA groups.

Others told of the shock they experienced when they were admitted into treatment centers and realized that they were in an abusive (or religious) environment that they were unprepared to cope with. They related how they and their families were pressured into accepting a pro-forma explanation of their troubles. Most of the writers' scorn was reserved for treatment centers and the counselors (most often characterized as deranged) who ran them.

Some stories dealt with suicides and other destructive behaviors that AA members were driven to when they were denied the support of the group for some actual or philosophical conflict with the organization. Several instances had to do with people being encouraged to quit taking prescribed medications for mental illnesses in order to become authentically "sober" according to the standards of their group.

Very few readers insisted that they would not refer a friend to AA after their experiences, although most of them were emphatic that they themselves would not return to "those rooms" again. Several had discovered alternate methods of treatment, others felt that they had taken charge of their lives and recovery sufficiently to no longer need the support of a group to maintain their sobriety.

The differing points of view and perspectives of the contributors gives lie to the myth that all alcoholics are alike.

These story-tellers all tell another story - the story of their resilience and commitment to sobriety regardless of the obstacles. Interestingly enough, most of them arrived at a desire to act to change their circumstances and found the courage to speak out about the injustices they suffered in AA after four or five years of sobriety.


MICKY said...


by Devin Sexson

Alcoholics Anonymous is a "cult of necrophilia." I am not saying here that there is some kind of bizarre sexual ritual involving dead bodies in AA meetings. What this means is that there is a fascination with death. The cult revolves around death. I remember when I went to AA I would here the common statement, something to the effect of, "I felt terrible earlier today, then I went to a meeting and now I feel just great!"

I wondered why I never felt great after a meeting. Meetings usually had no effect on me but often I found them down right creepy. Why? Because I am not a necrophiliac, I don't get off on sitting around talking about how we will die of alcoholism if we don't ingest this religious crap.

But the creepiness goes a little deeper than that. In order for the cult to function some members must die from alcoholism. Those members who "cannot or will not" resign themselves to the religio-fascist structure of the cult can only be of value to the cult if they are:
1. Constantly relapsing.
2. Dead.

Consider these examples:

All of us in A.A. know the tremendous happiness that is in our sobriety, but there are also tragedies. My sponsor, Jackie, was one of these. He brought in many of our original members, yet he himself could not make it and died of alcoholism.
-- The Big Book, 3rd Edition, page 239.

After being dry two weeks and sticking close to Jackie, all of a sudden I found I had become the sponsor of my sponsor, for he was suddenly taken drunk. I was startled to learn that he had only been off the booze for a month or so himself when he brought me the message!
-- The Big Book, 3rd Edition, page 245.

The Boston group provided us with a fresh wonder and a big heartbreak, too. Its founder could never get sober himself and he finally died of alcoholism. Paddy was just too sick to make it. Slip followed slip, but he came back each time to carry A.A.'s message, at which he was amazingly successful. Time after time the group nursed him back to life. Then came the last bender, and that was it. This very sick man left behind him a great group and a triple-A rating for valor. His first two successes, Bert C. and Jennie B., carry on to this day.
-- Alcoholics Anonymous Comes Of Age, William G. Wilson, page 96.

AA was already established in South Africa when Marty arrived, with a ready pool of interested and willing citizens. It had been started in that country by a relapsing alcoholic, "Johnny Appleseed." He was a gifted businessman and highly successful proponent of AA, but he could not stay sober. Regardless, wherever he traveled and got drunk and sobered up, he left literature about AA.
-- A Biography of Mrs. Marty Mann: The First Lady of Alcoholics Anonymous, Sally Brown and David R. Brown, page 224.

What is wrong with this picture? Why are these men sacrificing their own lives for the good of the cult? These are clear, unmistakable examples of how the cult values conversion more than sobriety, and more than the life and well-being of the individual.

Do you love me, Johnny?


Kathy Lynne said...

I am definately not grateful to be an alcoholic. It would be much lovelier to live life without as you say, the stigma. That said, I am grateful for where my alcoholism has led me. Not sure I would have this level of self awareness or spiritual connection had I not had to go through recovery and the program of AA. If I could have the enlightenment that I have now without the alcoholism, great, just don't think it would have happened. I would have trudged through life completely unconscious. So yeah, keep the pill. I have no desire to go back.

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