hate being an alcoholic?

does anyone else hate being an alcoholic or addict?

first off, is the stigma attached to the label.
with the exception of those in recovery, the
general public has no conception of what it
feels like to be in our shoes.

next is the constant scrutiny of when we are
going to screw up.
many of our past attempts and failures give
people good reason to be suspicious.

the thing i miss the most is the social aspect.
whether it was the beer at the ball park, or
choosing a wine for dinner, there was something
enticing about drinking for relaxation or just
lessening the inhibitions(shy folks know what i mean)

of course no one misses the final stages of compulsive
drinking; but for those who took a long time to get to
that stage, there are good memories to draw from.

so until someone invents a pill that allows me
to drink safely, i will keep those former days as just that; memories