Wednesday, February 6, 2008

in from the cold

it is refreshing to be away from snow, ice, sand and energy vampires.
this time of year the allure of holiday snow is diminished
all around me people were full of negativity
economic insecurity abounds among an alarming number of AA's
speaker meetings continued to be repetitive, and non motivating

went to my first noon meeting here in Arizona today
good to see most of the folks again
even better to be the kid at a meeting for a change

the topic was our insanity and how it affects others
i dont feel i was insane upon entering aa,
but decided not to share that, and risk bucking the uniformity of group-speak

it was encouraging to be approached after the meeting,
by several people who identified with my 3 level method
of recovery.

they had also tried to pray away, or meeting-treat medical
conditions to no avail.

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Shadow said...

oh oh, insanity.... what's normal????

MICKY said...

My Dear Johnny,
I imagine AA to be a cancerous growth in our society. I'm a SINNER who has been sober (through the Grace of God) for nearly 23 years. I've seen this "cult" virtually destroy people where they become these Bill & Bob zombies devoid of any emotion.

I imagine most of the Steppers are not dealing with their core issues and become addicted to the "droning Bill & Bob heads" who pop up and expel meaningless diatribe from their mouths.

Alcoholism is the only "disease" one doesn't recover from & one is continually confessing ones non - existent sins, which intensify the guilt and fear when one is not at a meeting (indoctrination session).

AA meetings numb and shutdown the critical thinking section of ones brain. I know a guy who has been sober for over 30 years and I imagine him to be quite mad - he doesn't even know what he's feeling most of the time apart from feeling depressed.

I imagine AA to be the road to hell and that it's anti - Christ and the Steppers sell their souls to the "cult", because they are too terrified to face their “demons” & recover their true selves.

That "inner child" who is waiting to be freed is slowly pushed down until it disappears into oblivion. That "child" is God! "Unless you become like little children...." "The kingdom of God is within you!"

I hear things like; "I need to do the Steps!" "I need more meetings!" "I had cancer or my wife died or I lost my job!" "But! Guess what! I didn't pick up a drink". The STEPPERS, might as well say; "I fell of my chair but I didn’t pick up a drink”! "Meaningless”! Why? Because one is not expressing ones feelings! Ones process is all about feelings!

How does one recover if one doesn’t feel ones pain, fear, & shame & understand that these feelings, especially if they are overwhelming; are feelings, from ones childhood.

All AA does is suppress these feelings until one ends up a semi - depressed zombie like the lunatic who has been sober for over 30 years. Can you see how dangerous this "cult" is, John?

A madman, Bill Wilson, started it and if you want to end up like him, Jack, keep going to meetings. The sure way to insanity is "Meetings!" "Meetings!" "Meetings!"