letting go

the best way to get a grip is to let go.

in recovery, it can be initially difficult
to let go of old ideas, habits and selfish wants.
the party lifestyle usually has a strong hold
on our emotions and thought processes.

it's like losing a best friend; my experience
sent me through the entire grieving process,
as though i had lost a family member.

there was anger, bargaining, denial, depression
and ultimately acceptance.

another phase of letting go is ego deflation,
assisted by lessening the notion of self-reliance.
gaining the perspective that i was not the
center of the universe, led the way to a belief
in a higher power.

giving up the reins and relinquishing control
was quite a relief.
loosening my grip on those around me and
practicing live and let live, was empowering.

today the only thing i hang onto with both
hands, is my seat in the rooms.

i paid the price of admission many times over;
and no one is prying me loose today.