Friday, November 7, 2008

tipping the scale

I had to ask the question, what will the drink do for me?

Initially, there's that warm sensation, release
from inhibition and amorous glow.
Next comes the feelings of power, control and invincibility.
sounds enticing right?
sure it is to any alcoholic, but it's short lived.

In a few weeks the lure of the buzz becomes a persistent urge,
then an unrelenting obsession.
The former chatty humor turns to angry rants.
social drinking quickly morphs into isolated binges.
yes, it's exactly the same as I remembered.

There came a point in my journey, that i began
to weigh the pros and cons of that first drink.
Thinking past the initial buzz, to the irresistible
urge and eventually the merciless obsession

There was no shadow of doubt or mystery about
the consequences of drink number one.
It has been proven countless times.
I had to consider what would happen
if I resisted that urge?
so far my life has been stable, contented and productive.

It was certainly worth continuing on that same
path no matter how boring or routine it seemed.

Sure I still missed the excitement of the high,
but refused to block out the end result; despair
remorse and guilt.

Bottom line is I know the end result of picking
up that first drink.
What I don't know are the rewards that continued
sobriety will bring; but the possibilities are endless
and worth waiting for.
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