Wednesday, December 30, 2009

the pecking order

had a chat with a friend in the rooms
after my relapse.
told her how people act differently
toward me, since my fall from the 5+
year club

I compared it to a certain "pecking order",
that exists in most recovery rooms.

sure we still hear," all we have is today",
but it sure was comforting to have a few
thousand today's piled up.

here's an experiment;
listen closely to every person with more
than 3 years clean, and you will be reminded
of how much time they have every time they

I've been to thousands of meetings, in four
states, and this is all too common.

It's those with that peaceful, calmness that
I really admire; they never remind us of
their accumulated years, it shows in their actions.

my quote for the day;
"you can take the rum out of a fruitcake,
but it's still a fruitcake"

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anita said...

I so understand about the "pecking order" in AA. It's one of the primary reasons I simply cannot get involved in the program for long periods of time.

There is the pecking order in length of sobriety, but the one that bothers me most is the pecking order in terms of one's "bottom" prior to becoming sober. I know some people feel bad or that they don't belong in the rooms because they had "high bottoms" (i.e., they didn't end up on the street, or in jail or in the hospital, or have any of a large number of horrific experiences available to anyone hooked on drugs or alcohol).

But then again, I always took offense at people who would lecture me on my own sobriety when they clearly had not an iota of what it means to be close to the edge. I refer to the younger people, who, say, drank a lot in college and realized when they got out they had a drinking problem and stopped drinking and became AA ideologues.

Obviously, I have my issues with AA. And I think the 16 steps is a much better working model for sobriety.

Shadow said...

comforting it may be to have a few touchsand today's piled up, but ultimately what matters, is what you do today...

Fireman John said...

anita, thats an interesting observation; I have also witnessed
"bottom contests" in some rooms.
Many college bingers actually just "mature out" of excessive use.
aa gets the credit, but many folks guit and stay stopped without any programs.

Fireman John said...

shadow, thanks for the well put reminder

Rebecca said...

I think that any community no matter how 'therapuetic' is bound to inhabit the alpha narcissitic type A(A)er...I hate to use a slogan but identify adn don't compare.. If there is any room left in the air of the church cellar you happen to be seated in.
SOmething someone told me after my relapse and really struggling was the TIME you were sober before is ALL still sober days years minutes and your true actual real life. So... you ingested something and you ADMITTED IT! Therein lies the miracle, and you subsequently ADDRESSED and got treatment. THAT is a HERO anyday in my book. Not the loud voice of 'I drooled more booze than you ever drank' That approach is not one of love and tolerance nor nurturing and validating... I say