Friday, November 9, 2007

life, liberty, & the pursuit of serenity

Life begins when we first put down the drink or drug.
The addictive cycle is not life at all, just merely slow living death.

Compulsive drinking and drugging became a way of avoiding people and responsibility.

Social drinkers do not have the same thought processes as alcoholics.
Most people can put the drink down without having to ponder when they can have
the next one. There are those who still use alcohol as an accessory; but for us it was an absolute necessity.

There is a sense of liberation when we begin to lose that compulsion to drink.
When I think all the physical and mental energy wasted in planning, purchasing and consuming
all that liquid courage, I am absolutely amazed.
There wasn't much energy left over for any real-life activity.
Drinking and drugging was like a ball and chain; constantly weighing me down, sapping all my reserves.

Now I have the freedom that is mentioned in the promises; the ability to think clearly, act rationally and calm the chaos in my head.
Serenity is not something that just happens. it is a process that requires honestly, action and continued effort.
I am constantly reminded that this is not always the easy path; self appraisal can be difficult for the egotistical, prideful addict.
On occasion I need to be reminded how out of control my life really was.
In addition, I have to accept on a daily basis, that I cannot pick up that next first drink.

I never know what the next day of sobriety will bring, but I am aware of the downward spiral taking a drink would cause. This may sound simplistic because it is. There is no big mystery or secret to maintaining recovery.
It is simply taking the next step forward; not forgetting the past, but vowing to never repeat it.
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