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Monday, November 26, 2007

The Obsession's been lifted...


...but the thoughts still persist.

I often hear people speak of the moment when they "got it".

That's the point in recovery where they broke the cycle of relapse.
Some folks reach this conclusion after a year of continued sobriety.
This puzzles me somewhat, because I don't feel it is possible to make such
a claim with any certainty.

For me, the thoughts of a drink or line continue to pop up at certain times.
Whether it's a movie, commercial, or a person I drank with, those memories
of the years of social drinking still persist.

I can recall the smells, tastes and feelings of my favorite cocktail.
It's reassuring to say the obsessions' been lifted, because I'm not
consumed with the thoughts anymore.

My subconscious mind reminds me through dreams, of the various
stages of my imbibing.
It isn't upsetting at all, to have these dreams; like some folks who wake up
sweating and horrified like they relapsed.

All in all, I have come to accept the fact that the thought is normal for me.
The important facet is to prevent acting on those thoughts.
You will never hear me announce the words, "I got it..."

When I start to reminisce about "the good old days", I just look at
the picture above; and remember...

What used to turn me on; eventually turned on me.




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2 comments:

Shadow said...

to me it isn't so much of having had a moment of 'getting it', rather that now i've reached a point where i can definately feel it getting easier...

MICKY said...

Dear John,
So whoever is in Christ is a new creation: the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come. (2 Corinthians 5: 17).

I, MICKY, AM A GIFT TO ALL PEOPLE!!

 
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