The Glamorous Life?

Ah yes, I recall those wonderful moments of solo drinking; sort of
pre-buzzing for a party, event or just a trip to the bar.
Eventually, there were times when I didn't even make it out of the
house. So there went the idea of "social drinking".

I should have known I had a problem when I answered yes, to 16 of
the 20 questions in the pamphlet! But no, not me; I could control it.
Looking back, I suppose what reinforced that notion, was the sense
of recapturing some of that feeling of balance after a period of abstinence.

First to return was physical health, then mental well being. I never
stuck around long enough to really amass any spiritual health, however.
After interacting with hundreds of alky's and addicts over the years, I have
found quite a few who had similar experiences.

We used the word "reservations", to describe that deep-seated thought,
that we would be able to drink or use safely again in the future.
Until I eliminated any reservations, I could not get off the "rehab rodeo".

Here I am turning 56 today, feeling 40 and acting like I was 20!