Monday, January 26, 2009

feeling flat again

can't blame the weather,
the job,
my health,
or the economy.

if everything is going well,
why do i feel so flat?

although i enjoy retirement, i
think i need to feel more challenged.

some days are better than others,
but overall it's difficult to feel

maybe it's just a stage of life
that occurs at my age.

i played volleyball with fran and
the girls yesterday, and it was fun
yet depressing at the same time.

remembering what a huge part of
my life the sport was; playing, coaching
and watching the pros.

so often i find myself asking,
"what am i doing, and why am i here"?

anyone else ever feel like this?

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clean and crazy said...

you know when I feel flat I either start blogging or start doing some service work of some sort. Service keeps me busy and focused on the solution, it is also a great distraction when my girls are fighting, like right now!!

Recovery said...

I relate to feeling flat. It's like the old Peggy Lee song that says, "Is that all there is?" It's hard to connect the dots to where it comes from. A piece of it might be because I think the things I used to do seem more important (and fun) than what I do now. Not sure.

Your poem spoke to it, though.

If you submit your work for publication, yesterday I started a Call for Submissions list for recovery writing at

If you are aware of any venues, please let me know.

I want to start a Blogroll of recovery-related blogs. May I add yours?

Take good care of yourself and keep writing.

God bless.


Recovery Rocks!

J-Online said...

I feel like this a lot. I get in a funk and then have to find something to pull myself out of it. I've found the worst thing to do is isolate.

RipGurl said...

Boy oh boy can I relate! I think having a prize out in front of me helps to keep me distracted enough to feel like I can carry on. I used to use the bottle as my stretching point. I would reach as hard as I could just to get to the big, juicy glass of wine at the end of the day. I would prolong this as long as I could so that I could feel I really deserved it.

Now I have to find new prizes. I think Clean and Crazy hit the nail on the head. Service to others satisfies in a way that no other prize can. The trick is finding a service project that taps into your creative talents so you continue to discover new parts of yourself.

I tell the first graders that God has packed so many talents into them, they could spend the rest of their life trying to find them. The trick is to keep digging. Sometimes it takes looking in places we have never thought of before. I equate this to the idea of truffles. Somebody had to have been really hungry to dig in the dirt to find some fungus and then dare to eat it. Now these things are considered a delicacy. Who would have thought?

Happy digging,

Kathy Lynne said...

I do..and then it passes. Amazingly enough. And then I can get overwhelmed with the exact same thing. At how wonderful and big it is.

Dave King said...

I can relate to this poem. Good image to go with it, too. Was there an element of therapy in the writing of it? If so, did it work?

Shadow said...

hell yes!!!!!

Indigo said...

Often...for me it's a need to try to balance what my life used to be, with where I want it to go now. I've found when I need something more for myself, instead of seeing what I can get for me...I give of myself, volunteering..helping numerous causes. The soup kitchen is always in need of volunteers. So are hotlines for abuse and suicide.

Sometimes it's just finding peace with the quiet, without needing to fill in the time. (Hugs)Indigo

Fireman John said...

thanks all for the feedback!
there was some value in posting;
aside from the freedom to share stuff i wouldn't at a meeting, it was a reminder to enjoy where i am today.


Join a gym, start a pick up basketball game. Get involved in ANYTHING that will keep you focused on your health, while allowing you some kind of healthy male-bonding outlet! Good luck..It's only winter doldrums. They pass.. every year!

Anonymous said...

I hate regret. It's an ugly emotion.

Sandi T said...

all the time! - I know there's a reason I'm here - I just wish I'd find out already.