Although the financial consequences happen slower than with drug addiction, alcohol is sometimes like the tortoise that wins the race with the rabbit.
The ability to continue drinking for long periods of time is reinforced because #1. it's legal, #2. it's socially acceptable and #3., it's harder to spot.
Just look at the productivity levels of us while hungover, nauseous, or day-dreaming about the next cocktail. Then there are the high absentee rates and myriad of illnesses that accompany heavy drinking.
Our ability to maintain a personal relationship also suffers greatly. How many times have we said,"I'm sorry", or nothing at all when challenged about our behavior?
When the prime directive in life becomes planning, procuring, and consuming alcohol, there is little room left for much else.
The sad part for me, was that while this was happening, I was oblivious to it;never realizing the long -term consequences of my actions or inaction. All the while I thought I was doing a great job as a husband, father, Firefighter and all-around cool guy. WRONG!!!
That was where my inflated ego and pride prevented me from seeing the true picture of the damage i was inflicting on those closest to me.
Today I have to remember what I became and not let the memory of the "good old times" allow me minimize or justify any of it.
My best amends today are simply in following this path of recovery, looking at my behaviors and evaluating on a daily basis, if I am living an honest, productive and serene lifestyle.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Posted by Fireman John at 6:00 PM