the difference

"what's going to be different this time"?

that always asked question when starting rehab.
my answer would be, "i don't know, but i'm here".

looking back, i recall the feeling of impending
doom, at the end of another run.
somehow, i maintained the ability to recognize
when my behaviors were spiraling out of control.

seven years ago, i decided to retire from my
job, move out of dodge, and relocate to a
small town. the goal was to buy a duplex home,
and open a sober house.

it was challenging and often overwhelming, to
be fresh out of rehab and making all these
life-changing decisions.

fortunately, i had a partner who stuck by me,
(despite urgings from al-anon to leave).

that was the beginning of my "different" life.

the story continues tomorrow.