Tuesday, October 28, 2008

part 2; the difference

well here i was, a mere 75 miles from where
i lived and worked most of my life.
it seemed like a world away; farms, country
roads and a fraction of the population.

here was the opportunity to change nearly
everything about my life.
this time i was searching for a continued
solution to my substance abuse problems.

rather than dabbling in the process, i
took suggestions and abandoned my search
for a way to moderate my use.

quitting for 1 day at a time, was a bit shaky
for me, and left me feeling insecure.
i stuck with it as best as i could, but there
was that daily voice asking me; "can we drink today?"

finally after 22 months, deb left for a 2 week
stay in arizona, and when the little voice asked
if that was the day, i said hell yes!

those old romancing thoughts returned and
once again i thought i can control this now.

after researching many sources, i came across
the theory of quieting that addictive voice.
the idea was to quit for a predetermined time.
it went against all the standard practices,
but i decided to try.

that was when i committed to quit for 20 years.

sounds crazy, right; yet now i don't have that
nagging voice asking every single day, "okay
to drink today?"

at a riper older age, i will make that choice;
by that time the memories of the "good ole times"
will have faded .

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Shadow said...

i really like your plan. 20 years. that's something. has it quietened that voice? must've. look at you go, day by day...