Wednesday, October 1, 2008

out of the woods

how I view my path to recovery.
having traveled deep into the forest
of addiction, it takes patience and
perseverance to continue the journey.

looking back on my former pattern of
feeling invincible after 90 days, I now
realize my brain wasn't even close to
normal function as my body in 3 months.

mental and emotional health require time
to restore.
trying to undo many years of drinking and drugging,
in a matter of months, is impossible.

a major component of the ability to continue,
was abandoning the futile attempt to drink safely.
I was convinced that through a combination of
exercise, willpower and proper nutrition, it was
possible to regain control of my use.

after repeated failures, I threw in the towel.
finally the ultimate realization that I had
slowly progressed from social, to heavy, to
abuse and ultimately dependence on alcohol.

it was time to end the controlled drinking experiment.

the end result of opening the jug was always the same;
the possibilities of resisting were unknown, but
certainly worth trying.

my jumping off point?

what used to turn me on... turned on me.

ODAT Online Recovery Blogs

Stumble Upon Toolbar


Shadow said...

instant gratification. it's what got me in my mess in the first place, and during recovery, made me realise that to undo years in a couple of months, just doesn't happen... recovery has taught me patience and perseverance amongst other things.